I'm kind of a creepy person, i've decided. sometimes i don't look people in the eye when they speak. i look at their mouths almost persistently, only fleetingly meeting their gaze when i catch myself in the act. i don't know why I do it. i mean, i talk a LOT as anyone at work (or that i randomly encounter) will tell you. i go off on ridiculous tangents and feel the urge to contribute in some way even if there's a chance that i'll come across ignorant or awkward (which of course is generally always). for all this talking and coming across as an extrovert, i still have a hard time looking people in the eye. i don't mind what i see, it's what they'll see that i guess worries me. my insecurity manifests itself in rather peculiar ways i'd say...
i got home from the stephenie meyer's event at b&n tonight. it was pretty lame... but i needed the money. it's pretty ridiculous how people rush about like chickens without a head to purchase a book of such poor quality. you'd think oprah was making them buy it or something. it's a mormonised rip-off of the Underworld movies and it's poorly written with a weak and helpless central female character. way to make a good role model and simultaneously counteract feminism with incoherent drivel. "you're all lemmings!" i wish to shout, but instead i point them past the escalators on to the back of the line. people think they're so cool in this city, but honestly, if someone makes another "witty" and "original" statement like "i bet you cant guess why 'I' am here" while wearing a team edward/twilight shirt during a stephenie meyer book event or smugly inquiring "why so serious?" intermittently, two days straight after having watched the dark knight... i'll be forced to punch you in the throat. maybe then i'll make eye contact, to catch the look of surprise.
