an advisory note to a certain city by a bay.

 No. 29

distance aids, abets

these feelings under rugs swept;

sleeveless hearts abound

but if i had sleeves, i'd put my heart on 'em.

"that's what she said"

No. 28

"hold it against me"

entendres doubled over

taking it...the blame

...what? don't hold this haiku against me. unless that's what yr into.

on wearing more hats than immelda marcos's shoe collection

No. 27

i'm worse for the wear

no time to sleep nor to sneeze...

what day is it, please?

...but really, what day?

pardon my turkey.

No. 26

me and macaulay:

irony, i'm 'Home Alone':

ennui not prevented

...erm, Happy Thanksgiving?

the consequences of a sea-sick sailor.

No. 25

you will rue the day

"ships are fallible," i say

this one's sailed away

wherewithal: the lack thereof

No. 24

peeves shouldn't be pets 
like sleeping dogs, let them lie
put your mind to rest

a(n) historical haiku

No. 23

my petulent young son

fought the british and one, but

we've all lost, bar none

lady lazarus 2.0

No. 22

when men offer to

'make a woman out of you'

breathe, count three, "ach, du..."

Sylvia surely said it better...

on the physics of pigs in flight.

No. 21

the day that i find

a world i can count on

time sure will stand still

trauriger Panda.

No. 20

divulging this loss,
this "unbearable lightness"
needs more syllables.

word of the day: saudade - a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist ... a turning towards the past or towards the future

currently reading Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. it's so brilliant, i think i'll write a review on it later... "later" meaning after i write these 4 final papers for my classes plus finish reading/editing the second pass of King Kong Theory- which is fantastic by the way, can't wait to see the final result.

happy weekend, everyone. i hope you're doing more fun and savoury things than i, as my weekend will consist mainly of attempting to breathe through my nose whilst not coughing up my lungs and catching up on hundreds of pages of reading.

revelations of a cultural poseur.

No. 19

 tabloids strewn at home

overzealous, still falls short

"oh, that Katie Holmes!"

a haiku for my canadian grandmother, wherever she may be.

No. 18

i'm not insincere

Roaring Twenties, changing face

i'm my youngest friend

Thanks to PN (see, still sort of anonymous?) for providing material which can be disseminated into about a week's worth of haikus/blog entries. The next one is about Tom Cruise's wife-- you know the one. I hope you're well rested...

Yours, sincerely.

a haiku of the unspoken.

No. 17
the real sickness here

has grown for 25 years:

fibrous reticence

an appeal for full disclosure.

No. 16

maladroit master,

inept interlocutor

teeth shouldn't be pulled!

an existential haiku

No. 15

distant as i seem,

my body is a Stranger;

i carry with me

confession of a sleep-deprived susan

No. 14

"Not myself," I say

shady, contradictory

inner thoughts betray

the somnambulist.

Lucky No. 13

if sleep's a crutch

then i'm a paraplegic

deprived of too much

...'nuff said, really. 

parce que je veux qu'erialc reste ("7:01")

No. 12

those quick witted quips

run through your lips, like quicksand

in your arms i slip...

...when you come back from california

"this one goes to eleven..."

No. 11 
without an accent

i portray myself each day;
a one-woman play

did anyone get the Spinal Tap reference? ...anyone?
i have been way too busy to write proper entries lately, but this is National Haiku Writing Month and anything else is actually gratuitous (count yourselves lucky, i say). i've been cheating and writing the rest of the entries a day later and pre- or post-dating them. it's a neat trick, really. i wish it worked for homework, or apologies, or any other time-orient(at)ed obligations. 

anywho, a professor of mine and i were talking about my accent the other day - or rather, my lack thereof. she basically said something quite true: i concern myself almost obsessively with my accent and how i come across to people and it is often to them so insignificant that i'm basically fussing over nothing and constantly being paranoid. it was she who first observed (or at least told me directly) the fact that i'm essentially playing the role of myself every day, measuring my tone, emphasis, intonation and that it was exhausting just to think about. when she put it that way, it made plenty of sense, particularly when she followed up with the fact that everyone knows of my englishness either because i've said something (or many somethings) pointing out my  difference in nationality, (e.g. "oh it's like that in england" or "i'm awkward because i'm english" or i quote entire scenes from This Is Spinal Tap - not yet, but i can), through my orthographical differences, or my quirky and compulsive out loud self-corrections with my pronunciation and the fact that other friends and colleagues tease me on a regular basis, mostly as a result of my own insecurity and bashfulness. i was with her up to this point, then balked at the idea that i should switch back to the original accent and not repress it/deny my upbringing (since i'm doing such a poor job of blending in, as is the 'true blue american way', was my understanding). to me that would seem flat out crazy, borderline multiple personality disorder. she said that i'd get a lot of attention (allegedly positive... i still don't want it) but alas, for now, you'll just have to wait until i'm a little drunk (on water, of course. what? it's possible), spontaneously reading aloud, or sleep-deprived like everyone else, madam.

uninspired haiqua

No. 10*

writer's block

stopped clock

words

escape 

...i'll write a better one...tomorrow, maybe

vexation over veneration

No. 9 

my main problem with 

intellectual crushes:

can't make-out with brains

...i mean, you can, but that'd be some hannibal lecter-type craziness.

ra-ra-radicals.

No. 8

if you're feminist

then please raise up your fists, in
solid-dairy-tea!

solidarity. it's a word that has been reused and appropriated by many groups, cultures, and subcultures. but among the feminist press staff and interns i feel this is where the word "solidarity" rightfully belongs. here i've met my sisters, my brother (sorry, you're the only male intern, peter), friends that have the potential to last a lifetime. this is yet another short entry, but i wanted to gush a bit about the communities that i happen to fall into. there and in bluestockings...bluestockings! another rad place to be. i'm not really religious, yet in the friends department i feel truly blessed, at least today.

the meta-haiku

No. 7

do you feel it's strange

that i think in syllables

words numbered, arranged?

syllabic symmetry with alternate rhyme scheme (A-B-A)? way to unleash the inner poet in me, National Haiku Writing Month! i was telling someone at work yesterday how i don't think these are very good, but thoroughly amusing. i'm admittedly easily amused, but this haiku thing may be something. i'd write more, but i've only allowed myself 30 minutes of internet lollygagging while my tea brews, but i spent most of that time on facebook (for shame). now, it's make to work! look at me, all productive-like.

"parents just don't understand"

No. 6

sickly sweet nicknames
no interiority
i'll always be twelve

before you ask: yes, dinner with my dad was as awkward as you could imagine it to be. and then some. it also ended rather abruptly. that's all i'll say about that for now. first, i have to go see a man about a horse*. 

*(translation key: man = cabinet. horse = glass of scotch)

keeping up with yesterday, avoiding today

No. 5

"...tomorrow, maybe?" 
to trifle with time is fine.
compelled; must tarry 

so, i'm starting to worry about my chronic procrastination. it's easy to do and perhaps everyone does it at some point or another, but i've eased my way into the upper echelon of procrastination that is borderline frightening. there are some days when i have to put on three or four hats: at the feminist press; as an esl teacher (where i use proper punctuation, i promise); as a grad student with four classes, at schools in two different boroughs no less; as the zine/volunteer person at bluestockings books...and now a bartending job on weekends. i know others have had to deal with an equally hectic workload and have managed to keep on top of things, albeit with a minor relapse or two, but my "To-Do" lists just pile up and collectively spit in my face. they glue my head to my pillow, tie my shoelaces together when i'm not looking. it's thursday; i cross off tuesday's list and start anew, including last tuesday through friday's list of tasks. it's a vicious cycle.


one of my main problems is the internet and other immediate technological distractions. another over-arching problem is why said bits of technology are so appealing to me all of a sudden. i mean, besides the obvious expansiveness of the internet, the 'into-the-rabbit-hole' feeling that i've not quite shaken since i first got a computer, the 'connectedness' that you supposedly feel with people of any time zone... i used to be much more comfortable with a book and a cup of tea. now i can't seem to get through a book unless it's for class and even then i'm not moved to write anything altogether insightful. i try reading on the subway and wind up listening to music for most of the trip. besides the feeling that i'm losing motivation, getting dumber, and not stimulating myself intellectually, there is that of complete and utter dejectedness that i feel after having procrastinated on a project or missed a deadline. they say that procrastination is a lot like masturbation; it feels great at first, until you realise you've just screwed yourself. from here on in, i'm going to try a different approach, or maybe revisit an old flame...i think i'll give that To-Do list another chance this weekend, but along with the basics of a positivist mindset and a nice cup of tea. tomorrow, definitely.

ode to grandiolquence.

Haiku Day 4

well, i'm sorry... who?
will you inform me or leave
names dropped on the floor?

a haiku for those perplexed by pretense.

NaNoWriMo: Cityslicker Edition

so, because i barely have time to shower, i'm going to try NaHaiWriMo (National Haiku/Haiqua* Writing Month) instead of the traditional novel business, that i'll leave for the true talents (read: teenage fanfiction lovers, legitimately aspiring writers or both). i'll give a nod here to my brilliant friend rick whose idea i think this was (if it's clever, amusing, creative, or awkward he's likely behind it). i'm already several days behind, so I'll do three haikus today, all equally lame, and/or amusing, then i'll try to keep up for the rest of the month (we all know this will not happen, but humour me, will you?). occasionally i'll try to use the haikus as an epigraph so some overarching theme of the day like my awkwardness, feminism, socialism, other -isms, -istics, or -ologies, etc. it may be interesting. or ridiculous. only time will tell.


*for those of you that don't know, a haiku in english traditionally has a syllabic symmetry of 5-7-5 or 3-5-3, whereas a haiqua is a haiku of four lines with one or two words per line. i will be doing different variants of the haiku, you know, to shake things up a bit.


"Yes, Feminist Press?
how may i help you today?"
...wait, where's my stapler?


Unduly awkward,
always the penultimate
i just make mixtapes


I did tell you I
understood your English, but
misplaced, commas, why?!

curiouser and curiouser...

**i haven't signed on to this in a year and this mini-entry below was in my drafts. i'll try to be more consistent as it would be nice to have an outlet for the personal/political, music & film reviews, goings on at work, etc. bear with me folks (aka, Steve). the blog is called 'tomorrow, maybe' for a reason**

hmm.. so i'm still lazy, but i'm going to write. hopefully people have given up checking on this blog (the number of hits still increased even though i haven't posted a new entry in eons...). i have given up writing this for You, dear reader, because i am coming to the conclusion that you don't exist. all the better, because it was getting cumbersome to try to maintain some semblance of coherency. at least now i get to throw all sense of caution to the wind am i right? of course i am, You don't have a say in this at all.

i wish you did though, because i'm terribly, terribly confused. i've said to myself, "Self, why have you got to be such a fuckup? Why don't you grow a spine and ask people out. Why do you make so many excuses? Why do you lie to yourself and even more to others?" Of course myself doesn't answer because she's off making bitchy or sarcastic remarks or making angsty mix-tapes with the word "Love" in every other title, so it'd be nice to have you around, you know?