can you hear me, major tom?

Hello folks,

Please forgive my radio silence for the past three months (three months! How did you manage without me, blogosphere?!). Life has been...a roller-coaster of emotions to say the least, filled with personal transition, transience, and transgression (more on this later). I've been working on a poetry project (I even did a reading...more on that later, too). For now, may I leave you with a tidbit? A work in progress? A savoury morsel of a future poem bonanza...yes? yes. Feedback, as always, is much appreciated.

you sing sometimes, late at night,
with a book for company, cigarettes at hand, 
and a candle casting shadows that keep time  
with songs you don't know the words to. 

your voice is high and thin, as uneasy sounds weave into the air.  
you sing of loss. you sing of roads.
you sing of memories that are distilled and untold.

even in your sleep

you fight a war that grinds the enamel off your teeth,
and wake with jaws clenched and your mind spent
wondering how many dishes you have broken this week
in an attempt not to break yourself.

all the therapists in the world might say,

"maybe your anger is good...
maybe your rage
is you emerging from the cage 

of everything you've been."

but when the doctors called saying
your father's falling in love with an eternal winter,
you wiped your tears away
you knew it was going to be more than "OK"
it was going to be perfect
your denial made you feel
like the first time you rode your bike 

without training wheels-

immortal.

your scarred knees tell a different story.

you swore you'd never lie to yourself again 
you cried and talked of taking time 

to learn your hidden face, the one  

you see reflected back in puddles on the road
or in his eyes as dulled by longing 
as yours.